Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

....or so they say.

When we moved our belongings last summer, I misplaced Zach's shot record and social security card. I believe they are both in the same "safe" place--wherever that is! I have a habit of putting things in "safe" places only to find them years later after many, many frantic searches! Since we are just three or so weeks away from registration for kindergarten, I decided I really did need to get his birth certificate (which we never got after he was born) and a duplicate social security card.

Off Zach and I went to the courthouse to order his birth certificate (which is from another county). I was happily surprised that they were able to give me one on the spot, and so on we went to the social security office. And that is where our lovely US government forced me to serve time for losing a social security card. The punishment? It begins like this: Sit and wait with your five year old son in a tiny little room with a random, but most likely accurate, sampling of the US population for about 70 minutes.

Being the ever-prepared woman that I am, I had gotten on the SS website ahead of time to see what documentation I needed in order to do this. As we sat, I learned some interesting facts. One, English is a second language in the social security office. They even call out your number in Spanish first. Two, the security guard is not going to waste his time squishing the beetle that is plaguing all of the children in the waiting room as it trolls around from chair to chair. Three, the woman sitting in front of me is a self-proclaimed expert on beetles, particularly the coloring of stink bugs. Four, this is not a stink bug. (According to Ms. Bug Expert.)

After our LOOOONG wait, I finally hear my number called. As I present my documents and explain what I need the lady just looks at me. "Ma'am, a birth certificate is not a recent enough document...you will need to provide us with a medical record from within the last two years," she tells me. I cannot believe that I have waited that long only to find out that it was all for naught. And this is when I realize that having a healthy son is not a great thing. I am not sure when he saw the doctor last, but I am thinking it was sometime around his fourth birthday for his shots. Yes, that is right, my son has not been to a doctor in two years! In fact, other than once or twice, he has never been to a doctor other than for a check-up to get shots.

Furious, I race home and look through the paperwork I had been sent over last summer when I had to get his shot records together (due to the missing shot record card). I find the copies from his doctor's appointment and thankfully, his appointment was Aug. 16 of 2005. That is right, we are within WEEKS of this two year anniversary to prove that he is who he is. (Now, I ask you...why is a doctor writing on a chart that your child was born on a certain day better documentation than a birth certificate?)

When we enter the SS office again, it is empty and we are able to assistance immediately. (Boy, I wished that I had just left instead of waiting those 70 minutes! I had no idea that the wait was unusual.) And this time, we are able to order the replacement card. Whew!


BLOG UPDATE:

Okay, it is 6:30 pm and I have just spent over two hours at the clinic. My son, my "healthy son" has just been diagnosed with a case of walking pneumonia. He has had an on and off temp for the last few days and a cough, but other than that has been pretty much his normal self. Gary and I decided to have him looked at to be safe and he was sick! We are on three meds, breathing treatments and worse of all, he had to have his blood drawn! He was not a happy camper.

So that is what I get for bragging about not having to take my kid to the doctor....pneumonia!